Distancing from Self !


How hard we work to distance ourselves from those
who have come to our life to complete us!

We develop emotional strategies
and justify that it’s the only way out
We get busy building the castle to protect ourselves
and become prisoners of our own fears!

More precious the gift,
more painful it is to accept it
For gifts from beyond are hard truths
reflecting our true power,
hidden beneath our dark sides

My heart cries, when I see fellow souls,
struggling hard to protect themselves from their brilliance;
closing their eyes when their gold is about to shine;
killing the ugly messenger before the beauty unveils itself

It seems, half our lives goes in,
marking out those we cant stand.

Have you ever wondered,
Why are the most unbearable ones nearest to us in kinship?

In blood or in spirit,
they carry a part of us… a sacred part!
it may be a part not owned, not healed, not accepted;
it may be a part longing to be acknowledged;
it may a part seeking to gracefully depart…

Reclaiming our lost parts, is becoming whole
Those we distance with are the there to help us,
find the missing pieces of our puzzle
That’s why we invited them in first place

Sometimes when I catch the glimpse of the larger design,
I discover that all those who baffle me are my projections
Born to help me discern and integrate again

From up in the air, sometimes,
I am saddened to see myself,
working hard to develop strategies after strategies
to avoid, to distance, to protect from what is inevitable.

While alternatively if I just accept and allow…
the grand design reveals itself…
And I start loving myself
as I am, with whoever showed up in my life, in the very moment…

from the Sacred Well…


I have almost discovered a formula:
the intensity of our need to distance from someone is
directly proportional to their importance in helping us
in our journey to happiness, well-being and wholeness

What’s your deeper longing behind your strategies?

“There will come a time when all your ‘strategies of mind’ will fail. You will wonder, why all your efforts to understand, connect, do the right thing are not being acknowledged. You will soon realise that all your strategies are products of your mind, marinated in your ego. It served your sense of identity. This realisation may lead to a helpless letting-go of all your strategies. You must wait till the pain of your failures turns into a still void. Then, when you are completely empty, you may experience a deep longing. As if, its coming from a deep well inside your heart. This longing will someday become action that is guided from deep within. It may baffle your mind cause its not what the mind can create or fully comprehended. It’s a deeper call. When this call puts you in action, you may once again connect, act, serve. This time, you will flow and generate a magnetic field that drives everyone in. This time you will lead effortlessly cause you a being led from your deep well. This time every action will be a supreme success.”

Today morning my inner voice (from the Sacred Well) told me so.

I could see the difference between my actions…
that are guided by my ego-mind and that come from a deeper source.
Between aspiration and inspiration
Between strategy and longing.

Transactional world of strategies:
Often times, ego gets involved in a transactional act. “I will do this cause you did that” or “I gave so much what did I get in return?”. This transactional act is often 2 dimensional. There is a give and take. There are expectations met or unmet. Investments returned or not. Such a consciousness often leaves us unhappy, desiring or at best temporarily satisfied. Personal aspirations, strategies, ego-mind games, comparisons etc are all product of this transactional consciousness. It also disrespects the complex, mystical nature of the Universe. It limits us in time and space in which we feel fair or unfair. Constantly looking for immediate returns on our investments. What if, our investments are actually returns from a different time and space? Or our returns are the investments we made in another lifetime?

Transformational world of deep longing:
On the other side of the spectrum is transformational consciousness. It’s when, one drop of love is enough to fill the whole heart and forgive for many lifetimes. It’s where our action is inspired from a deeper source within us. “I am doing this cause I long for it” or “Loving you completes me, I don’t have any expectations”. When we live in such a consciousness we honour the Universe. We instantly trust whatever the Universe offers us. We feel free and empowered. We see ourselves as timeless, powerful, spiritual beings. We receive every drop of love, respect, care as timeless gifts. We see challenges, difficult people and circumstances as part of the grand design and practice patience for the real gifts to unfold. We may engage in transactional acts with others but we are able to see the transformational design of the Universe behind it.

Both exist in the moment…
In any give day, hour, moment, we live in both worlds simultaneously. Both have their own purpose. Transactional world keeps us grounded and protected. It helps us in our journey from dependence to independence. Transformational world opens new possibilities and reminds us of our limitless power. It generates compassion and love for all.

However, sometimes we helplessly oscillate between the two. I guess, this happens when we don’t honour either of the two worlds, fully. We try to bypass transactional matters by disowning our fears and insecurities and create a personal identity of universal caretaker or a hero. Have you come across highly insecure gurus or highly competitive collaborators?

I am slowly learning that the transformational consciousness is not from another world. It coexist in the very moment we are dealing with our fears, defending our turf, or, protecting our gold. It’s important, therefore, to remind ourselves that we are the timeless, Universal spiritual beings and then step into the transformational consciousness. One way to do that is to connect with our own (and others) deeper longing behind our strategies.

Lets try it today and see the difference…

What are you longing for? What if, you drop all your strategies for a day?

Sacred Well

Clinging to our hates!

“I imagine one of the reasons people cling to their hates so stubbornly is because they sense, once hate is gone, they will be forced to deal with pain.” 
(James Baldwin’s quote triggered an inner dialogue within me)

What do you see, when you look at me?

Why are you so disturbed to see me?
What about my presence makes you feel so alienated?

Yes, I am a lot different…
I don’t belong to your class, caste or creed
I am not the type you would relate with
Definitely not the one you would ever want to become

I don’t fit your sense of human or humanity by far
Yet I am familiar, so much familiar…
Yes, I am the one you never wanted to be with
That’s why you know me so well…

You wish your life could have been an amnesia without me
But life is a cruel magic
I am stuck on you…
The more you wish you wouldn’t, the more you end up being with me

I sense, you are longing to meet me
So that you could touch that part within yourself…

— — — — — — — — — — — —

And that’s why, I guess, we love to hate
It helps us in covering the deeper pain
Pain of our sense of loss, failures, inadequacy
Pain of accepting ourselves and the truth of the moment

Hatred gives us a sense of identity
Making us distinct from (and secretly superior to) the ones we despise
And we fear loosing it all
And so it persists

— — — — — — — — — — — —

What if, you could let go this fear
And touch your own pain
However old, however hurtful,
Just sit in the center of it
Without any need to find a cause outside…

What if, you could accept your pain as a part of you
As something that happened as it happened
And let it go as a tree farewells its old yellow leaves

May be then, you would see me beyond what you see now…
May be then, you could go beyond my history, adjectives and stories
And look into my deep eyes
Reflecting the pain similar to yours
You could also see my wrinkles, my eye sockets,
And in the middle of my hatred towards you,
you may see my deep longing to belong to you…

Through my eyes, if you look long enough,
You may see my soul
And it’s long long journey,
With struggles, fears, failures and hopes
All so similar to yours
In such a moment you may experience a strange wet spark in your heart
Flowing right upto your eyes
This is compassion- a deep feeling of oneness

You may also see my upright yet fragile body
My rooted strength yet my vulnerability to open my heart
You will see that my heart is big enough to consume all of you and all your lifetimes

It may be hard to believe such a moment
It may feel like betraying your old distinct identity
Yet it’s the most powerful, liberating moment you can experience

And trust me, if you keep practicing it
Looking at people long enough
Beyond your own love for righteousness, distinction and hatred
You will soon start seeing their soul journeys
You will become their co-traveller
They will become yours
Life will transform
With magic every where…

And you will wake up with a magic wand in your hand!

Sacred Well