Longing for Dignity

Transforming  human trafficking ecosystem

Sometimes we need to walk to the edges of our civilization to see deeper truths. Human trafficking is one such edge. It is a story of how human can reduce humanity to an object for flesh-trade.

I was ignorant and apathetic to the world of human trafficking until two leading non-profit organizations, working on anti-trafficking, invited me to facilitate a dialogue. They asked me to help them solve complex systems challenges in their field that was leading to internal ideological conflicts and impacting their collective work.

We convened a group of men and women committed to fighting against this gruesome act of humanity. At the end of the first day, we sat in a circle and shared painful stories of how young girls and boys are sold, how their innocence is manipulated, and their dignity is destroyed. As they introduced me to the dark world of human trafficking, I felt deeply sad, angry and helpless. I had no courage to facilitate a dialogue on such a painful topic. At some level, it was hard for me to relate to their complex challenges.

Honouring the FieldKali trampling Shiva. Chromolithograph by R. Varma.

Coincidently, the workshop was scheduled during Navratri (April 2017)– a festival where Hindu’s worship nine avatars of Goddess or Divine Feminine over nine nights. On that particular night, it was Day 7, Kalaratri pooja. I invoked the Goddess in my meditation and confessed my limitations as a man holding a conversation that related to deep dishonouring of the feminine. I asked her to help me in my role as a facilitator. Image of Kali with Shiva lying on her feet popped up with two clear insights: 1. Listen to the body (Kali doesn’t like anything heady) and 2. Surrender (as Shiva did)!

Next morning, instead of conversations, we used an embodied contemplative theatre practice called 4D Mapping to understand the social system that leads to trafficking of girls. 4D Mapping is one of the practices of Social Presencing Theatre developed by Arawana Hayashi. In this, we work with complex systems challenges, embody key stakeholders and co-create a social sculpture of current social reality. This process makes visible the hidden dimensions of the social field and generates in-depth data about the shifts that could move the whole ecosystem towards its wellbeing. Most importantly, this process required us to surrender our agenda and listen to the wisdom of our bodies.

Participants played different roles representing victim girl, her family, her dignity, police system, shelter homes, anti-trafficking NGOs, the justice system and customers. As we embodied the roles and relationships between various actors, all the stories from last night and many generations, become alive. We were uncovering the primal patterns of systemic oppression: where suppressed-sexuality turns women into objects of sex; and upheld-morality fights back to give her justice. She suffers on both ends. Sacrificing her dignity and freedom. While we walk the clean streets with our pants zipped and collars upright.

Collective Resonance: 

When we sat back in a circle to reflect on what we just experienced, the whole room went in deep impregnating silence. There was an unspoken resonance vibrating through space, transforming words into tears. After a while, few spoke from their heart. Others nodded in deep acceptance.

A man who played the role of a ‘victim girl’ shared that while embodying her role, he could feel her trembling fear and pain in his body. He added that while every other player in the act were pulling or pushing the girl to justice, all that she longed for was acceptance and dignity from her family.

A woman who played the role of a ‘policeman’ shared that while playing the role, she felt exhausted and misjudged by others. All that policeman wanted was appreciation and dignity for his work.

Another woman who embodied ‘family’ found herself powerless and filled with shame. All through the exercise ‘family’ kept lying on edge away from ‘dignity’. She said, “I know the girl longs to come back, and everyone else judges me (family) for letting her go, but I have no dignity left within myself. I have no agency or power either.”

Everyone in the room, including me, cried as we embraced the fact— we all were somehow victims and contributors, unfairly stuck in this systemic suffering. And each one, irrespective of our gender, longed for acceptance and dignity.

Collective Resolution: 

Slowly our heart-felt reflections transformed into collective resolve.

A program leader opened her heart and said “I think we got it wrong from the beginning. We got so invested in our idea of justice that we turned insensitive to girls need. How different are we from the trafficking ecosystem that robs her of her dignity? We need to redefine our purpose from anti-trafficking to pro-dignity”.

A young man who works with communities and shelter homes said “I have been feeling this for long. Her dignity dies at the source: when her family sells her due to their vulnerable social-economic conditions. We should work at the source instead of trying to fix the problem after she has lost all hopes in the trafficking system”. Another leader declared: “Let’s redirect our attention and funds for bringing dignity to girls and working with their vulnerable families”.

In following days and weeks, insights were translated into new projects. Relationships between the partners has deepened and so is their collective advocacy for draft bill on anti-trafficking in India. However, there was another piece of the puzzle lying in the outer circle.

Customers & Citizens: Two sides of the same coin?

Throughout our reflective dialogue, I kept wondering about the mysterious role of the customers. How could men be so inhuman to turn a woman or a child into an object for the sex-trade? Don’t they get curious about her feelings, her fears, her helplessness?

In the paralysed stuckness of the customer, I could see wounded masculine energy that falls prey to their own repressed sexuality, and, gets stuck in corrupt game of sex, money and power.

Towards end, my attention shifted to yet another invisible role– bystanders or citizens. Those of us who are aware but choose to disengage from the dark quarters of sex-trafficking or prostitution. We do not want to get our linen dirty in this mess. We would instead write college essays on ‘legalization of prostitution’ or share WhatsApp jokes on ‘Bangkok holidays’. Aren’t we part of the social system that creates the ground for sex-trade? Haven’t we invented and upheld morality that shames sexual desires? Pushing it to shadow realms of prostitution and pornography. In that sense, how different are we form the customers who create demand and activate the human trafficking system?

We generated powerful felt-insights when we created the embodied map of the stakeholder, oppressors, rescuers and oppressed in the social system. I wondered, how we would place the feminine, masculine, child, shame, sexuality, dignity within our hearts? Who oppresses whom? What accentuates the customer? What disempowers the bystander? What is the divine within us really longing for?

Returning to the Woman within

After the workshop, I sat alone in the room, feeling the resonance of the dialogue we just had. Unresolved, I turned again to the Goddess, the divine feminine. She responded from within:

A woman is reduced to an object for sex
So you can strip her of all her dignity
And redeem yourself from your shame

A stone is turned into a revered Goddess
So you can project her dignified presence
And redeem yourself from your guilt

Where have you lost it, O civilized man?
Couldn’t you pause and feel the woman within?
She longs for dignity and your presence!

This experience led me to a poetic exploration of the inner dimensions of masculinity; and it’s journey from woundedness (exploiting feminine) to wholeness (honouring feminine and healing the world); in my upcoming book “Trading Armour for a Flower: Rise of New Masculine

– Manish Srivastava


I am grateful to the leaders and team members of Kamonohashi Project and Save The Children India for this opportunity to learn and work with them. They are doing incredible work to transform the trafficking ecosystem. Pls, visit their website to learn more about their work and contribute to their projects.
Kamonohashi Project: https://www.en.kamonohashi-project.net 
Save The Children India: https://savethechildrenindia.org 

What’s your deeper longing behind your strategies?

“There will come a time when all your ‘strategies of mind’ will fail. You will wonder, why all your efforts to understand, connect, do the right thing are not being acknowledged. You will soon realise that all your strategies are products of your mind, marinated in your ego. It served your sense of identity. This realisation may lead to a helpless letting-go of all your strategies. You must wait till the pain of your failures turns into a still void. Then, when you are completely empty, you may experience a deep longing. As if, its coming from a deep well inside your heart. This longing will someday become action that is guided from deep within. It may baffle your mind cause its not what the mind can create or fully comprehended. It’s a deeper call. When this call puts you in action, you may once again connect, act, serve. This time, you will flow and generate a magnetic field that drives everyone in. This time you will lead effortlessly cause you a being led from your deep well. This time every action will be a supreme success.”

Today morning my inner voice (from the Sacred Well) told me so.

I could see the difference between my actions…
that are guided by my ego-mind and that come from a deeper source.
Between aspiration and inspiration
Between strategy and longing.

Transactional world of strategies:
Often times, ego gets involved in a transactional act. “I will do this cause you did that” or “I gave so much what did I get in return?”. This transactional act is often 2 dimensional. There is a give and take. There are expectations met or unmet. Investments returned or not. Such a consciousness often leaves us unhappy, desiring or at best temporarily satisfied. Personal aspirations, strategies, ego-mind games, comparisons etc are all product of this transactional consciousness. It also disrespects the complex, mystical nature of the Universe. It limits us in time and space in which we feel fair or unfair. Constantly looking for immediate returns on our investments. What if, our investments are actually returns from a different time and space? Or our returns are the investments we made in another lifetime?

Transformational world of deep longing:
On the other side of the spectrum is transformational consciousness. It’s when, one drop of love is enough to fill the whole heart and forgive for many lifetimes. It’s where our action is inspired from a deeper source within us. “I am doing this cause I long for it” or “Loving you completes me, I don’t have any expectations”. When we live in such a consciousness we honour the Universe. We instantly trust whatever the Universe offers us. We feel free and empowered. We see ourselves as timeless, powerful, spiritual beings. We receive every drop of love, respect, care as timeless gifts. We see challenges, difficult people and circumstances as part of the grand design and practice patience for the real gifts to unfold. We may engage in transactional acts with others but we are able to see the transformational design of the Universe behind it.

Both exist in the moment…
In any give day, hour, moment, we live in both worlds simultaneously. Both have their own purpose. Transactional world keeps us grounded and protected. It helps us in our journey from dependence to independence. Transformational world opens new possibilities and reminds us of our limitless power. It generates compassion and love for all.

However, sometimes we helplessly oscillate between the two. I guess, this happens when we don’t honour either of the two worlds, fully. We try to bypass transactional matters by disowning our fears and insecurities and create a personal identity of universal caretaker or a hero. Have you come across highly insecure gurus or highly competitive collaborators?

I am slowly learning that the transformational consciousness is not from another world. It coexist in the very moment we are dealing with our fears, defending our turf, or, protecting our gold. It’s important, therefore, to remind ourselves that we are the timeless, Universal spiritual beings and then step into the transformational consciousness. One way to do that is to connect with our own (and others) deeper longing behind our strategies.

Lets try it today and see the difference…

What are you longing for? What if, you drop all your strategies for a day?

Sacred Well